When I initially launched saltandpepperthearth, my post topics were fairly diverse.  I wrote about activities which I enjoy: running, biking, not swimming (yep, no tri’s for me), gardening, reading, and, of course, writing.

I discussed topics about which I was continuously learning: organic gardening methods, fitness, healthy eating, supplementation, and do-it-yourself projects.

Shortly after I moved into my house in early Spring 2014, I plowed up the lawn and utilized the lot to establish a miniature-scale organic farm featuring a variety of fruit trees, vegetable plants, edible flowers, herbs, and vines.  This has been the largest and most difficult do-it-yourself project I’ve ever undertaken.  It’s also been the most successful and personally rewarding.

My garden is a living, ongoing project.  It’s changed with the seasons and with time.  I’ve killed a lot of plants and done really well by a lot of plants.  Like a lot of things in life, it’s about trial and error.

My garden is a living, ongoing project.  It’s changed with the seasons and with time.  I’ve killed a lot of plants and done really well by a lot of plants.  Like a lot of things in life, it’s about trial and error.

Because the project was so unusual and interesting, I began documenting my progress with this blog, taking pictures and sharing growing methods which work in a Florida climate.  I was excited about this large project, so the blog was conceived as a smaller, adjacent undertaking.

At first, the content was a bit “surfacey”.  I wanted to be construed upbeat and likable.  I hoped that readers would be drawn to a (counterfeit) cheery personality.  I thought that, perhaps, they might think of me as a pretty girl with a bright outlook who was enigmatic and energetic.  I (incorrectly) assumed that growing readership translated to blogging solely about pleasant, trendy topics like organic gardening, fitness and nutrition.

So…that worked for the first ten posts or so–and maybe not even those.  I began to feel irritated and repressed.  Writing this blog was supposed to be pleasurable, something to look forward to doing, but it just wasn’t.  Almost immediately, it began to feel like a tedious task.

I wasn’t writing as my authentic self.

I’m still raising my crops, maintaining my plot of land and enjoying that work.  But that’s mostly just for me.  I do like writing about it and sharing the pictures occasionally,  but I can’t limit myself to the sole topic of gardening.

Yes, the pictures are beautiful, and the fact that anyone can grow their own food is amazing and wonderful.  The sustainability movement is huge and sharing information about it is vital.

But, it’s not my cause.

For me, writing exclusively about my gardening felt so one-dimensional.  And an attempt at “spicing up” the content with my repetitive workouts felt frivolous.  New recipes were fun to try and share every so often, but the posts lacked depth and meaning.

I’m not the pretty, bright and cheerful girl who I initially misrepresented myself to be.

I don’t ever wear makeup except for very special occasions, like when I was honored to be a bridesmaid for the wedding of my very dear friend, Miranda.  I normally wash my hair with a 2-in-1 and use inexpensive liquid hand soap on my face and body.  There are no  fancy lotions, potions, or fragrances.  And I shave my legs when I begin looking like a Gorilla in the Mist.

The truth is, I’m raw, dirty, sinful, indulgent and flawed.  I’m selfish, dishonest, inconsistent and careless.  I’m forgetful and clumsy.  I have cellulite, grey hairs and sun spots.

In short, I’m human.  Real and passionate.  Damaged.

Damaged…but interesting.

When I realized it would be much more cathartic and therapeutic to start writing publicly the way I thought privately,  I started to write for real.  And I haven’t stopped.

The gardening pictures have all been lovely, but the written content reads like junk food for the mind.  Gratuitous and flowery.

Reading the older posts now, I think: Who is this annoying person?  How tedious is she?  How obnoxious and patronizing?  Ewww.

If you’ve read this blog for a while, you may have noticed that, a couple of months ago,  I changed the header tagline from “GIRL GOES GREEN” to “DAMAGED, BUT INTERESTING”.  I probably should have changed it back in October of 2014, when I got home from the crazy hospital.  The reason that I didn’t change it then was because, quite honestly, it hadn’t occurred to me.  The transition from superficial content to the gritty details happened organically (no pun intended).

Transition.  

Transitions are difficult for me.  I need for them to be very gradual, nearly to the point that I’m not aware they’re even happening.

So, gradually, I began sharing more and more of the shameful, strange and intimate workings of my bizarre brain.  And my unconventional, dysfunctional life is thus displayed for public consumption.

There is a term for the region of biological transition.  Where the overlapping takes place.  It’s called Ecotone.  Isn’t that beautiful?  I like to think that this blog is my own little region of transition.  My Ecotone.   

And it’s probably saved my life.

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