I Wish People Came With Subtitles

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I Really Suck At Reading A Room.

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Credit: Pixabay

I hardly ever get the opportunity to see all of my brothers at once, so when two of the oft-absent siblings were recently in town, I made the extra effort to go see them at my father’s house where they’d be crashing for the weekend.  

When I first arrived,  I noticed a movie playing in the family room with the closed caption feature enabled. Naturally, this version displays subtitles at the bottom of the screen, providing viewers the words to the entire episode. I could see and hear it from the foyer: a popular actress was lighting up the screen and deftly stealing the heart of her co-star while every last word was accounted for.    

I remarked to no one in particular that I have a habit of utilizing the subtitle feature on absolutely everything I watch, without exception. Literally, it is unreservedly compulsive.  I detest watching movies or television without this feature and, if said option is not available, its absence becomes so distracting that I will often cease watching altogether. I’m so used to doing it, that, when I don’t,  I feel as though I’m missing one of my senses, like the sound is turned all the way down on the program, even though I know, of course, that it’s not.  

I’m not sure when the obsessive subtitles dependency began, but I can definitively say that I have been doing it for the last 5 years minimum. The inclination toward doing  this probably originated simultaneously with my Netflix binge-watching habit.

In response to my comment, my brother agreed that he’s likewise fond, verging-on-obsessed, with subtitles. I know my mom uses subtitles at her house, too. She’s big on foreign cinema. Also, she utilizes the feature while running on her treadmill because that can get noisy.

It could be that my family members and I are genetically predisposed towards auditory issues, but that explanation seems unlikely. Rather, I believe that our collective devotion to reading, both for pleasure and education, is so strong that we simply prefer to “read” what we watch.  As a child, I had a strong and enduring passion for reading.  I sought it out as an “escape” and a comfort.  As an adult, I still seek relief in its familiarity.  

I wish I could apply the comfort and familiarity of the “Subtitle Feature”to my real life; especially when interacting with people in real life.

And dogs, too, obviously.  That goes without saying.  So entertaining.   Continue reading »


What Riding The Wells Fargo Wagon Was Really Like

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of the corporate culture:

Relentless pressure. Wildly unrealistic sales targets. Having to pressure family members and friends to open unnecessary bank accounts. Corporate executives designed the sales quota systems and created the culture of harassment and fear when we did not meet them.


I Wear My Sunglasses At Night So I Can, So I can…Sleep

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It’s no secret that I have a sleep cycle that’s perpetually in flux.  Days with no sleep aren’t uncommon, but neither are days comprised of sleep and only sleep.  My bipolar disorder is the conductor of its rhythm and, although I try to maintain a traditional schedule, my neurological pathways beg to differ.

I blog about the challenges of finding balance often.  I know that the disruption of natural biological rhythm contributes towards aggravating my bipolar symptoms.  Insomnia reinforces or creates states of hypomania, mania, or a mixed episode.  Oversleeping and depression are correlated.  I know this.  And it’s not just how many or how few hours I spend sleeping.  It’s when I’m sleeping.  And for the better part of the last year, when I did sleep, my body has desperately wanted to sleep through the day and be awake during the night, all night.  I’ve been totally mixed up.

Let’s say I began with a state of something akin to alert wakefulness somewhere in the afternoon hour.  I’d exercise, do chores around my house, get a ton of writing done, eat meals around the times that a person would if the p.m. were actually a.m. and vice versa.  I’d get so much done, in fact, that I’d keep working and keep working through to the next day.  But instead of going to sleep during what was “my nighttime”, I’d still be awake because, of course, the sun was out now.  So by the next day, a little bit of hypomania kicks in, but I’ve got no idea, because, you see, I’m getting so much done!  

At this point in my sleep-wake cycle, I’m not paying any attention whatsoever, because (according to what I think at the time) I’m producing the most articulate and comprehensible delight for which any editor in their right mind would be champing at the bit!   Only, I’m not in my right mind, just my write mind.

Fortunately, because of my medication-mainly the mood stabilizer and antipsychotic medication-I’m prevented from escalating into full-blown mania, or worse, a mixed episode.  I don’t know how many days pass like this.  Not many because I’m Ultradian Rapid Cycling.

And then.

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Stigmas & Susceptibility

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Civilian or celebrity, if you have a mental illness, you can’t run away from it.  It will not be ignored.  Rather, it will track you down, wrestle you to the ground, and, potentially, even immobilize you, and steal your life. Your sickness will also wreak havoc on the lives of your very sane family.

Star Wars’ actor Jake Lloyd — who played Anakin Skywalker in Episode I, The Phantom Menace– suffers from schizophrenia.

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His demons wasted no time in tracking him down when he went off his meds early last year. On the 26th of March 2015, a police report was filed after he drove to his mother’s house and physically attacked her.  A few weeks later, he led the police on a high-speed car chase through Charleston, South Carolina, hitting speeds of 117 miles per hour before crashing into a bunch of trees.

Since that time, Lloyd has been held in jail for ten months and is only now being transferred to a psychiatric facility.  I think this demonstrates the breakdown in our criminal justice system: how did it take close to a year for the courts to determine that a schizophrenic who’d gone off his medication and had committed the criminal acts during a psychotic episode needed to be transferred?  Why was it not glaringly and immediately obvious that a psychiatric facility was the more appropriate rehabilitative place for him?  I am angry that it took so long but mollified that he is now receiving proper care. Continue reading »


Fatshaming: Filter Words Not Photos

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Fat-shaming has become so commonplace a behavior that society’s predisposition to think, act, and proceed in this particular manner is sometimes a knee-jerk response; second only to breathing.   Skinny-shaming, which can be even more brutal and mean-spirited, is nearly as commonplace.  Collectively, this  cruelty is called Body-shaming, and frankly, it sucks.

Fatshaming or Skinnyshaming, We Ought to Filter Our Words Instead of Our Photos.

I just can’t reconcile a double standard favoring either extreme.  Some people are born naturally curvier, some are leaner.  That’s epigenetics, right?  And then there’s lifestyle; and personal choice, or other factors, like mental health and internal struggles.

Have you seen this pretty lady?

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Barbie’s Body

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Wha..

I just did a double take.  Barbie’s got some curves!

The look of Mattel’s Barbie IS CHANGING, and it’s catching up with positive body image awareness.  

Finally.  

The new line of Barbie and friends embraces what I like to call *The Beauty of Distinction*.  

Mattel calls it: The Evolution of Barbie (Feels a little Darwinian?).

T.E.O.B. “This is just the beginning. From offering products that feature more empowering and imaginative roles to partnering with best in class role models, we believe in girls and their limitless potential”. -Mattel 

Their tag Line? #YouCanBeAnything    

Awesome.  Seriously, I do think it’s awesome.

The empowering/career/imaginative roles part of the campaign? NOT GETTING ENOUGH AIR TIME.

But we’ll go ahead and talk about what everyone’s talking about.  You know- the body image part? Great.

Check out Barbie’s New Figure:

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Rodrigo!

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***Full disclosure: this is a frivolous and fluffy post.***  

Cons: Possible waste of time to read.

Pros: Likely minimal time wasted & one can always click the little ‘X’ button, yeah?

 Ahem.  I was pretty unsure about Mozart in the Jungle.  

Adverts for the series were plastered everywhere.

This Face.

Rodrigo!

I’d clear my internet browsing cache, and within minutes, they’d be back.  Taunting me. Mozart.Mozart.Mozart.Mozart.Mozart.Mozart.Mozart.

Mozart.Mozart.

Mozart.Mozart.Mozart.Mozart.Mozart.Mozart.

I’d lay down to sleep, close my eyes, and there the ensemble cast would be; poised, waiting, instruments at the ready.

When the Golden Globes came and went,

I did not watch either-the awards show,

nor the recipient of 2 nominations and 2 wins.

The face, it implored me; watch the show.

My mom and two oldest brothers are fond of classical music, as am I.

If nothing else, I’d hear Debussy.  Bach.  Haydn.

↓ This.

But well and truly, what sealed the deal, is I’ll watch anything and everything with Bernadette Peters.  

And that’s a fact.

This Glorious Clip is from the year I was born.  Three Very Talented Performers in one of my favorite numbers of all time which has nothing to do with Mozart in the Jungle with the exception of Ms. Peters:

And I am rather pleased I finally gave in to Mozart in the Jungle because:

1.) There is some amazing music.

2.) It’s a thoughtful script.

3.) There are no perfect Hollywood-looking people in the cast.  Everyone is flawed.  And Interesting.

4.) Jason Schwartzman.

Seriously, don’t not watch it because you’re feeling so hassled by all the hype.  It’s a good show; I like it.  I’d watch more of it if there was more.  And if the show itself wasn’t that great, or I didn’t like the looks of the actors, I’d just play the episodes like a Classical soundtrack for cleaning, cooking, or drawing, because the music is that great.  

Check it out & Let me know what you think of Rodrigo!  🙂


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