For the past week, I have been exceptionally tired, both physically and mentally.
Days and nights have blended together.
I’ve slept between 14-16 hours at a clip, getting up only to use the bathroom, eat, check on my plants (when I remember them), exercise (on the days I have the will) and think obsess (when I can’t prevent the ruminations).
Having taken rest from any physical activity for three of the last four days, I assumed that my Depressive Downswing was the main culprit to my utter exhaustion. While my poor mental health is likely 99.999% to blame, I awoke today with an itchy, sore throat, congested nasal passages and an outstandingly painful sinus headache.
Which came first, the sadness or the sickness?
It turns out, I am capable of acquiring a head cold 1.) During Florida’s Notoriously Hot and Humid Summer and 2.) While living in My Notoriously Hot and Humid House
I do have things for which to be grateful…or at least relieved.
- Science
- Shoes
- Sanity
I can’t resist the opportunity for a bulleted list.
Or alliteration.
SCIENCE
My Science Experiment is well underway:
…with an Auxiliary Air-conditioning Project:
SHOES
I have new running shoes courtesy of my Mom:
I took these out for a test run on Thursday evening, logging a little under 8 miles.
Friday, I wore them for a 32 mile cycle.
So far, they are much improved from My Old Running Shoes.
SANITY
This coming Wednesday, I will be going to the doctor with the purpose of getting blood work and vitals checked, but also to discuss pharmaceutical options to improve my mental well-being. Living with Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder and all the related anxiety, obsessive-compulsive and eating-disordered behaviors is untenable without psychotropic medication. It’s been seven months since I have taken any psych meds and I am drowning.
Last Spring, I stopped taking my last SSRI (Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor) because, for me, it caused Mania and Highly-Impulsive Behavior. In the Winter, I was prescribed a Tricyclic Antidepressant which put me into a complete mental stupor.
While I was in Inpatient Eating Disorder Treatment last year, I was given Lithium which seemed to do the best job of leveling out my moods.
Lithium (Eskalith, Lithobid) is one of the most widely used and studied medications for treating bipolar disorder. Lithium helps reduce the severity and frequency of mania. It may also help relieve or prevent bipolar depression.
The reason I was taken off of Lithium while in treatment was that I developed a toxicity due to extremely low-sodium levels via acute dehydration and malnutrition. Now that my weight and nutrition are stabilized, I will likely ask about returning to that medication in particular. I am also researching Topamax and other anti-seizure medications. I would be interested in hearing any feedback on side effects and efficacy of these drugs in particular.
Until then, I will be hanging on…bearing in mind that relief is around the corner.
I take Lithium and Seroquel and they both work so well for me it makes me want to cry, thinking about all the years of experimentation. I also take Lamictal and have no complaints – I’ve been on it the longest and it’s worked consistently. I haven’t had to adjust the dosage in years, but you do have to get blood levels checked regularly. I tried Topomax and it didn’t do anything for me. Depakote worked well enough, but came with side effects I couldn’t deal with, including weight gain. I gained 30 pounds almost immediately. !!
Good luck!!
Lotus,
This is such great feedback. I am so glad that you found something that works for you. I am taking copious notes to bring with me on Wednesday! Thank you!
She is beyond words.
what a super mother you have.